Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
