it hurts more in the daytime
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
