Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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