i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I supernannyed him into submission
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
