college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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