I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
found the other keg... it's in the tree
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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