Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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