A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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