Midget sex pt 2 tonight
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
