I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need a beard to bite.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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