What did we do last night that was yellow?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
