I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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