I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
