I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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