I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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