no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
