Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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