Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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