The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize