Need sex. Gaining weight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
