Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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