no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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