So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
