LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
