Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
