i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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