I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize