Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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