Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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