Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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