I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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