hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
