woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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