we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
