found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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