I want to have your abortion
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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