just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
