end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
