TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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