He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
