I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
