I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
