Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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