just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
