3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
