Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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