does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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