I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize