I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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