Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
