Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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