I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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