I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
