Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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