dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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