I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
