I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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