Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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