the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
